This is the whole process that we call our life!!
IF YOU KNOW YOUR OWN WORTH you need not be worried what others think about you, whether they accept you or reject you.
If you are worried about others’rejection and acceptance, that simply shows one thing – that you don’t know your own worth, that you don’t know your own being, that you don’t know God resides in you, that you are an abode ofthe divine.
Hence you are worried what people are thinking about you – because on their thinking, on their opinion, will depend much.
Your ego depends on others’ opinions: your being depends on nobody.
That’s why the man of being is always a rebel, and the man who lives in the ego has to compromise very much with the society.
The egoist has to compromise, because if he does not compromise,nobody is going to fulfill his ego.
The ego needs others’ support, it needs props from others: the more people like you, the better and more polished and refined an ego you can have.
That’s why people read books like Dale Carnegie’s HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE, or Napoleon Hill, and others.
There are thousands of these so-called philosophers who go on teaching people how to polish the ego in a better way, how to decorate it.
The modern mind is very much concerned about it, how you look to others.
Why?
Because we have lost all sense of our own being. Now all that we have is the ego, and the ego needs others’ support.
If you don’t fulfill their expectations about you, they will withdraw their support. and the more you fulfill their expectations, the more of a slave you become.
Whatsoever they want you to do, you do.
You are just obedient, constantly compromising.
Whether you like it or not does not matter to you; the whole question is whether others like it.
If they want you to smile, you smile.
The smile may be phoney, but that is not the point – because people like it.
And when they like your smile, they will love you. And when they love you, they will give attention to you, they will respect you.
They will fulfill your need to be needed.
This is the whole process that we call our life.
And if this life remains a constant frustration, it is not a wonder.
The society, from the very beginning, teaches you, ”Listen to what others say about you, because that is what you are.”
Now this is so stupid, the whole idea.
Others don’t know themselves, and they decide who I am.
I don’t know about myself, who I am, and I decide about others, who they are.
This Is a mutual deception.
I don’t know who I am, you don’t know who you are: you decide about me, I Decide about you.
Blind people deciding about each other. Blind people telling each other, ”You are beautiful; your face is so beautiful, or so ugly.”
Blind people deciding who is a sinner and who is a saint.
And such great fear is created from the very beginning in every child that your whole life you are tortured by it.
If somebody does not think well of you, you lose your whole night – you cannot sleep:somebody doesn’t think well of you.
How does it matter?
Who is he to decide about you?
But the reason is that you have forgotten yourself; you don’t know who you are.
You depend on him – if he doesn't think well of you, then something is wrong with you; you start losing self-respect.
When nobody respects you, how can you respect yourself?
Your self-respect is just a cumulative effect of many people pouring their respect towards you.
And these are the ignorant people, as ignorant as you are.
They know nothing, but this is their way of manipulating each other.
”I respect you, I am paying you, I am bribing you, to be manipulated by me.
You respect me because you want to manipulate me.”This is how it goes on.
The man who knows his self-worth, the man who knows who he is, will remain absolutely unconcerned.
And just see the point: when you are absolutely unconcerned with what people say about you, you have a freedom, a psychological freedom, you are out of the psychological slavery of the society.
Your soul is born.
OshO
CHAPTER 3. THE DEATH OF THE SEED
Unio Mystica, Vol 2