The Alternative

"I am a hospitable man," said Nasrudin to a group of cronies at the teahouse. "Very well, then - take us all home to supper," said the greediest.

 Nasrudin collected the whole crowd and started towards his house with them. When he was almost there, he said:

 "I'll go ahead and warn my wife: You just wait here." His wife cuffed him when he told her the news. "There is no food in the house - turn them away."

 "I can't do that, my reputation for hospitality is at stake."

 "Very well, you go upstairs and I'll tell them that you are out."

 After nearly an hour the guests became restless and crowded round the door, shouding, "Let us in, Nasrudin." The Mulla's wife went out to them:

 "Nasrudin is out."

 "But we saw him go into the house, and we have been watching the door all the time."

 She was silent.

 The Mulla, watching from an upstairs window, was unable to contain himself. Leaning out he shouted:

 "I could have gone out the back door, couldn't I?"

 Joke

 10 Husbands, Still a Virgin

 
 A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

 On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

 "What?" said the puzzled groom.

 "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

 "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

 Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

 Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

 Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

 Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

 Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

 Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

 Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

 Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

 Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! 
But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

 "Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

 "You're a lawyer. This time I know, I'm gonna get screwed!"