1. Don’t get caught up in your story.
When bad things happen, it’s very easy to get caught up in the drama. We can get a lot of things from repeating our story to others such as sympathy, support, and encouragement. But wallowing in that story keeps you living in the past and not focused on being present to what’s in front of you right now.
Initially, I would go into all of the gory details of the “break up” when people asked me why I wasn’t in the business anymore, but pretty soon I grew tired of living in and repeating that story. Although people still asked me what happened, my response was just that I had irreconcilable differences with my partners. No bells, no whistles…simply, I’ve moved on. This kept me out of my story.
2. Don’t consume yourself in placing blame.
It’s easy to focus on placing blame on yourself and/or others when difficulties arise. What could I have done differently? Why did they do this to me? Why didn’t I try harder?
Focusing on all these “what ifs” won’t change the situation or ease your pain and sorrow. Focus your energy on what you can do right here, right now to move forward.
3. Accept where you are.
As hard as it may be, you have to accept what happened. You can try not to, but it will only bring you more pain. Accepting your present circumstance is the first step to moving forward.
We have a natural tendency to judge and analyze the things that occur in our lives and label them as right or wrong, good or bad. Once we decide something is wrong or bad, we often spend a lot of time and energy complaining about it, feeling sorry for ourselves, pondering on how it could have gone differently, and/or trying to ‘fix’ it.
Shifting from that place of judgment and ‘fixing’ to a state of acceptance frees up that energy to explore new possibilities available from our current reality.
That doesn’t mean you have to like your current situation, but you do need to accept that you are where you are. It will clear your mind to take action to move to a better place.
4. Find the lesson.
This can be really hard because most potholes appear to be nothing but trouble when you hit them. But over time, you’ll likely realize that the pothole was actually there to teach or show you something.
Perhaps a job loss is setting you up to pursue something you’ll enjoy more. Maybe ending your relationship with your significant other frees you to meet the true love of your life. It may not be apparent immediately, but there is a lesson to be learned and an opportunity to grow.
For me, the end of my partnership freed me to advise other small business owners. During my time in the partnership, I learned how to run a small business and picked up several skills directly from my partners. I’m grateful because all of this prepared me to do what I do now which is extremely gratifying.
5. Focus on your vision.
Instead of holding a pity party, take the time to think about what you really want. Developing a vision of what you do want in your life (instead of focusing on your current situation and what you don’t want) is very powerful.
If you pile all of your energy into thinking about what happened and how it could have gone differently, you’ll stay stuck. Create a new vision for yourself so you can move forward. Focus on the positive things you want to see in your life and set the intention to pursue them.
This may require some rework of your previous plans, but that’s okay. Change can be good and may lead to things better than you could have imagined.
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Life can definitely blindside you at times. Those unexpected circumstances or events can make or break you depending on how you recover. You may not have had control over what happened, but you do have a choice in how you respond.
Accept your current reality, but don’t let it define you. Keep your eyes open for the lessons to be learned and create a clear vision of what you want moving forward. Set your intention on your vision and allow it to unfold.
Courtesy: tinybuddha.com
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